How can you make the necessary changes to become confident with women?
The most important thing to understand is that; YOU need to invest in YOU!
Open your mind to the abundance of opportunities that are available to you. There are more than 3 billion females on this planet, so you must have a sporting chance of meeting that special someone!
But first… Take a long hard look in the mirror and decide what needs to change for you to become that guy that women desire.
What is it that is holding you back?
I have listed below some of the key factors that cause men to lose confidence:
- Dou have negative beliefs about your looks?
- Do you believe that you don’t make enough money, have a good enough job, or have a nice enough home or car to attract a girl?
- Are you shy or socially awkward?
- Have you had bad experiences or relationships in the past with women, that has made you nervous around them?
I possessed all these issues. They are unhealthy and they are destructive, so If any or all of these sounds familiar to you, then seriously, you need to let go of this shit right now!
I know what you’re thinking, it’s easier said than done. Of course, you are absolutely correct in thinking that.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and things won’t change overnight, but by deciding that you need to change and by taking those first steps immediately, you are on the road to becoming more confident with women.
So, let’s get into these areas a little deeper.
Negative beliefs about looks
Ok, so this is a very common one. A lot of guys believe that if they don’t look like Brad Pitt, have a buff physique and a six-pack, then they have no chance.
This is entirely untrue. I see many guys out there who were not blessed with model looks but they are in happy, loving relationships with beautiful women.
How did they do it?
Simple! They had the balls to approach that beautiful woman and weren’t afraid to be rejected. They made the best of what they had, were in touch with their masculine energy (this is key) and used these tools to their full potential.
It’s true that looks represent a small part of attraction, but if you’re not conventionally handsome, it really isn’t the end of the world. The fact is confidence and charisma trump looks every time.
That being said, you still need to make the most of what you have by presenting yourself to the best of your potential.
You need to ask yourself:
- How am I presenting myself?
- Does my image need work?
- Is it time to invest in some new clothes, a decent haircut, a fitness programme?
- Is my posture strong and upright?
To be clear though, you need to do this for you and you only. If you are doing this purely to impress that girl in the office who you have secretly liked for ages, or the chatty one who works in the coffee shop, then that is the wrong reason.
The point of this exercise is looking at ways in which you can boost your self-esteem by building confidence in the way you view yourself, not how others view you.
A simple change like a new outfit, an upgrade on those worn out 10-year-old sneakers (trainers if you’re in the UK) and a smart new hairstyle will make the world of difference in the way that you feel about yourself. You will feel more confident and inevitably the ladies will tune in to that.
Keeping yourself in good physical shape is also key. You don’t need to be six pack ripped, but at least in a state of healthy wellbeing. This will hugely benefit your demeanour as you will have more energy, feel stronger and be much more vibrant.
There are other benefits to this too, because when you do finally get laid you will have more stamina and libido. You will not be a sweaty, breathless mess, collapsing on top of her after 2 minutes.
You know what I’m talking about!
Beliefs of inferiority based on lack of money, low level job, or quality of house or car
This is a bullshit belief and one that is incredibly destructive if you don’t let it go. I’ve been there myself, so I know.
The clear majority of women don’t care about any of these things. Of course, there are a small percentage of females out there who are gold diggers, but are these the kind of women you really want to be involved with?
Any girl of any value can be as attracted to a Plumber as they can to a company CEO. Why? because it’s the person that matters not the career.
Again, it goes back to how you feel about yourself, if you are passionate about what you do and you own it, then that is a very attractive quality to have.
Shy or socially awkward
If you are afflicted with these traits, then these will be the toughest to overcome, because they require the most work.
The only way to overcome these traits is to step outside of your comfort zone and go out and talk to women. I’m not talking about hitting on girls in bars and clubs, but initially by starting small opening conversations in normal everyday situations, such as at the bus stop, for example; “excuse me, does this bus go to xxx, what time is it due to arrive?” “which bus do I need to go to xxx? “the bus is late again how long have you been waiting?” etc. Nothing creepy, just friendly and easy opening conversation gambits.
The more practice you get, the more natural it will become. Be confident, direct and maintain eye contact.
Another great way to practice is to sign up to an online dating site, such as match.com, eHarmony etc. It is a good way to get used to conversing with women and improving your flirting technique. I won’t go into too much detail about this, as I have created a whole section of this website, dedicated to getting the best results out of online dating (see online dating bible pages).
Bad experiences or relationships in the past, that have made you nervous
This could have stemmed from many things, such as being cheated on, an abusive relationship or a partner who was controlling and jealous.
These things can become deep-rooted in your sub-conscious mind and cause you to be suspicious of new potential partners going forward.
The best way to deal with this is to treat any new person who comes into your life with an open mind. Try not to compare them to the traits of your previous partner who hurt you, otherwise you are going to create a barrier between you and them, which blocks you from having that deep and meaningful relationship that we all crave.
We are all individuals and deserve to be treated that way. Negative comparisons to other people are not fair on them or you. Look for the good in people.
Nobody is perfect!
Focus on the good in people instead of the bad and your relationships will reap the benefits.
I hope that you have found the information in this post useful. If you start to apply these basic changes, you will soon learn how to be better with women.
I’m here to help wherever I can and as my website grows, I will be regularly adding more content that I hope you will find useful in your journey to becoming confident with women.
I welcome all feedback, comments and suggestions, so feel free to leave comments below.
Good Luck Guys.