Gaining confidence with women – from Zero to Hero.

Why don’t women desire me?

This is a question I asked myself repeatedly, during my late twenties.

The more I asked, the more I disliked myself. I would look in the mirror and all I would see was a short, unattractive underachiever, who was already losing his hair (a major confidence killer for young men) and who was going nowhere in life.

Why the hell would any woman find that attractive??

I had no confidence with women. At 28 years old, I had never really had a serious girlfriend. Sure, I had fooled around and had short term and relatively meaningless flings in my younger years and at college, but my success with women in my late twenties was pathetic.

To add to the humiliation, I was becoming more and more mindful of the fact that many of my friends were getting engaged, married and having kids. I was being left behind and I knew it

I had always been intelligent, not massively academic, but street smart and quick to learn. But even with my inquisitive mind and willingness to learn, I had no idea how I could make myself into the kind of guy that women wanted to even date, let alone have a relationship with.

I hated it. My confidence with women was less than zero and I knew something would have to change if I wanted to avoid being “the single one” for the rest of my life.

What motivated me to make a change?

In 2009, whilst on vacation in Cyprus for my Brother’s wedding, I was involved in a serious car accident. Whilst my physical injuries were not life threatening, the emotional impact had a much more profound effect on me.

It was like I had finally woken up!

I now realised that you only get one shot at life and if you let opportunities pass you by, you will end up a lonely old man, with a heart filled with regret.

The time was now!

I launched into as much learning material as I could find, in a bid to turn my luck around and become confident with women.learning_material There was an abundance of online and paperback material that promised to show me how to be better with women, by teaching me how to become a pick-up artist, or “ladies man” , but it wasn’t my intention to become either of those things.


I just wanted to gain the confidence to approach women and meet an amazing person to build a meaningful, loving relationship with.

I learned that the way you are feeling, sets out the vibration that you are giving off to other people. If you are feeling unhappy, stressed or having self-esteem issues, you will project those negative vibes onto everybody who comes into contact with you.

Females can smell a man with low self-esteem a mile off and they have no time for it. They are looking for a man who is comfortable in their own skin, who will be their strong confident partner.

On the other hand, if you are carrying yourself with good posture, smiling and maintaining an all-round positive mind-set, that higher level vibration will project a friendlier and importantly, more confident vibe.

Women will take notice!

Once I understood this, I felt stupid for not realising it before. It was so obvious! The law of attraction is one of the most powerful natural laws in the universe and the more negativity you feel, the more negativity it will deliver to you. If you are projecting positivity, then guess what…more positive things will happen to you.

This isn’t rocket science guys!

My eyes were open!

eyes wide open

Confidence and creating a positive mind-set didn’t happen overnight though. It took time and energy to slowly build self-esteem and release those negative beliefs that had kept me prisoner.

It was a daily ritual, sometimes it was tough, especially if I’d have had a bad day at work or somebody had pissed me off. But the more I kept at it, the results began to change. Good things started happening. Women started to notice me, I was no longer invisible to them and the dates began to become more frequent.

Within 6 months I was offered a new job, which involved a relocation to a new city. Nobody knew me in this new city so they didn’t know my previously poor track record of long periods of no dates or female interaction.

I looked at this as a great opportunity to start over and use my new-found confidence to meet girls and find a partner that I would have a loving relationship with.

Within 2 months, I had built a rapport with a girl that worked at my company. Initially it was just friendly banter, but as time went on the banter was becoming more flirtatious. My confidence was infectious and I could feel that she was becoming more and more attracted to me.

Finally, one evening she gave me a ride home from work. After we had pulled up to my house we chatted in the car for an hour. I thought I want to kiss this girl but I could’ve been reading the signals incorrectly and it could have gone terribly wrong and ruined everything.

I decide to go for it. I leaned over to her and before I could do anything, she put her hand on my face and kissed me. Success!

Within a month we were an item and shortly after that we moved in together. It was my first proper relationship and the first time I had properly been in love.

The secret? There is no secret!

My success was 100% down to making the decision to invest in me. Making myself more confident made me more desirable and you can too, you just have to make a commitment to yourself

I started to believe that I was an attractive charismatic man and that every single woman in a room that I entered, wanted me. I’m not saying this from the perspective of being an arrogant douchebag, far from it, I just created a healthy respect for myself. Once I had achieved this, women started to recognise it.

As I said before, women can smell confidence and they can smell low self-esteem. The question you need to ask yourself is; WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SMELL LIKE?

Changing your life

In my next post, I will talk about how you can make the necessary changes in your life to become confident with women. In the meantime, I hope that you have enjoyed reading about my story.

I hope that you have found the information in this post useful. I’m here to help wherever I can and as my website grows, I will be regularly adding more content that I hope you will find useful in your journey to becoming confident with women.

I welcome all feedback, comments and suggestions, so feel free to leave comments below.

Good Luck guys.

One thought on “Gaining confidence with women – from Zero to Hero.

  1. Hi Jack, a very insightful (and surprising) read. I was going to put a cheeky comment about tatts and topknots. But instead I thought I’d congratulate you – face to face you come across as a very confident, personable, capable and interesting man. So if that wasn’t your starting point you have been very successful at practising what you preach.
    Also, you are far from short and unattractive! Hopefully that notion has been well and truly banished by now.
    Take care, and I hope things continue to go well for you. Olivia

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